Sugar, sugar

As of this afternoon I can no longer say I've been six weeks

because of these...

Damn you Beta Raspberry Bullets coated in 100% real milk chocolate!

This bag of yumminess (which has always been my poison of choice) propelled itself into my hands at Coles all by itself.  All I was doing was picking up some Basa fillets for tonight's cajan fish stew, and thump, there they were, in my possession.

Unfortunately that's not how it really went down.

I've had a shite week at work.  We're on leave next week, which will be joyous, but the preparation to go away is adding to what already feels like an overload of responsibility. On Saturday night I'm hosting an awards dinner for around 600 people.  The speaking part doesn't phase me, but I feel so totally out of control and under-prepared for it.  I've delegated (not something I'm good at) almost all aspects of the event to my staff.  And it's not that I don't trust them - anything but.  But come Saturday night, anything that goes wrong is my problem.  And not being across everything makes me jumpy.  I'll be incredibly relieved when it's over and done for another year!

At work, we do a weekly online video that gets around 1,000 views.  Not channel 10 type ratings, but still significant in my little part of the world.  It's something that's never been done in my field before.  It's something that puts me in the public eye.  It's something that gives people the opportunity to pass judgement.  This morning (it's Thursday - and therefore my pseudo-weekend) I was woken up before 8am by a phone call that was very unpleasant. A "client" had taken exception to something that was said on this week's video and demanded that it be removed.  Got a bit personal, and I didn't enjoy it.

My day ended pretty much the same way yesterday.  A member of the public took exception to a different comment in the same show.  In fact, took it incredibly personally and threatened to sue me for slander.  (Did not even mention this person mind you).  So the last work task for me yesterday was leaving this person a phone message humbly apologising for the distress that I caused.

As a result of the overflowing positivity (that's sarcasm by the way) with which this week's video was received, I made the decision (at 7:45am) to delete the damn thing.

This has pissed me off no end.  I'm annoyed to be dealing with such narrow-minded negativity.  And I'm equally annoyed to have had to surrender on the back of other's bad behaviour.  The more my own life and mind-set is changing, the harder it is to accept the narrow views of others.

So feeling completely overwhelmed and out of control, I gave up on the one thing I can control - ME.